Seems like weekly people ask me if I watch HGTV, and some of my friends that love home design actually get frustrated that I stay away from these channels as far as possible. Why? When you walk in and out of 70+ homes a week, you begin to realize that the majority of my buyers dream of wild kitchens and fancy long-haired red carpets in their living rooms, but they will never get them. I too love home decor, and find myself often imagining on what I would like to do to my own home. HGTV on the other hang, with their rude Realtors, and shmancy approach…well I think to myself, this isn’t my reality.
Here is a glimpse to one of my days, and you see for your self. This particular set of events dates back to a recent young couple I worked with…and continue to…as they have recently found their new home.
I woke up that morning at 9:07 anticipating to meet them around 10:30 am about 45 minutes from my office. I had scheduled about 18 homes to view the day prior, but not all agents had responded with a confirmation, so I knew I would have to make some follow up calls while in route. This morning was setting out to be adventurous as my wife and I hung out with some friends we had not seen in a long time, and well, the when I woke up…my head was hurting.
Shower….shave….get the lock box opener, listing sheets, flash light, and dressed warm as the temperature was around 28 degrees, and it wasn’t going to get any warmer. I bring a flash light for two reasons – 1. Some of the properties were vacant, and in distress = may not have power. 2. Dogs…you know how I love dogs jumping out at me.
I routed the best route in my mind, and put the GPS to do the rest. Upon popping a couple of aspirins, and a tall glass of coffee, I was preparing for a long day. On an average I show 3 homes an hour, as most people decide within 10 minutes that they want to see more or less in a property, and then the commute to get to the next property. Nothing new…nothing different….or was it?
Upon arrival to the local parking lot in a town of Antioch, we greeted and they jumped in my car. I usually drive as gives us the opportunity to talk, discuss, and get to know each other better. This was a nice couple who are expecting a baby, and they needed a home to settle in. Our challenge was a balance between monthly cost + proximity to work + level of work needed within the home. The areas we were searching offered many properties, but our limitation was set around $180k, which meant we were looking for a diamond in the ruff and were going through a lot of fools gold.
On the way to the first home, I realized that last nights experience was catching up to me, and queezy was a nice word for what I was feeling. My clients were understanding and we even joked, but the joke was on me as the journey continued. We entered a nice neighborhood with promising potential, where around the corner from the property I noticed a young girl in (6-7 yrs old) running in the middle of the road. Being that I am a father of 4 kids, I was nervous that someone could hit her, so I pulled over and suggested she use the sidewalk. I pulled into the driveway….
…as we approached the driveway, nothing seemed unusual…ring…ring…
…a middle aged male opened the door with a cigarette in his mouth. He greeted us as we entered a small room filled with a thick cloud of smoke. I looked at my clients with a sick look as he proceeded to stand there silent with us. As you looked around there were stairs leading up, a closet door, another closet door, window and door. An unusual layout to what seemed like a basic 2 story contemporary. I opened the closets and began to take charge…utility room, laundry room…..where was the kitchen? Oh, the kitchen is upstairs, he said. OK – so we entered the front door into a family room, and that was it?
Yes…we went upstairs where a converted crazy floor plan had a kitchen next to a bathroom, and 3 bedrooms. Just weird….
The wife was starting to look sick from the cigarette smell…and we proceeded to leave.
Off to the next home … as we drove, I had received numerous phone calls from people looking to confirm additional appointments. Our next property was set in a distant neighborhood, on a large wooded lot. It seemed promising on the listing sheet, but upon arrival we noticed that the home was old and beaten on. At the front door laid hundreds of bug carcases which I swept away by opening the front door. The home had a musty smell, and between the holes in the walls and abandoned feel there wasn’t much to look at. Around the corner from the kitchen led a concrete stairway into a lower level. The wife was feeling hibby gibbies as we followed the husband down into what appeared to be a small room with deserted childrens toys. Beyond that room was another with a unique unfinished basement/crawl area. The husband (lets call him Bob) decided to dig deeper. As he entered the depth of what seemed to be mud hole he slipped and grabbed onto a piece of wood that broke off and landed him on his rear. Of course, my concern was that he hurt himself, but his wife (Jill) just laughed. “Told you not to go digging in there….let’s get out of here!” and we left.
So far the search wasn’ revealing any jewels. Many homes to go, and my stomach slowly began to settle. After driving for about 15 minutes we arrived to a home set closest to a wooded beach. The are was common for water sports, as well as hunting and fishing. An unincorporated feel given by the heavy machinery often parked next and behind these homes. From tractors to car parts – everyone was a mechanic. This particular home had a long sloped driveway dunning about 300 feet on the side of the house, and behind it. As we approached the front door, I knocked and always ask my clients to stand back with the door open, in case I have to quickly run out. One foot after the next, I entered a home that appeared to be well taken care of on the inside, featuring a new carpet, large tv, even some attractive wall hangings. Unfortunately it also had a feel as if someone was home, and being that this home was thin and long, I had a ways to go before I would find out.
The instruction on this home were ‘Do not let the kitten out.”
No cat greeted me at the door. A pair of shoes laid in front of the door, as if someone had just removed them. Each step I took, I holler “Hello! Anyone Home?! Hello!”, but there was no answer. Braced for the worst, I crept deeper into the home, while Bob and Jill stood outside waiting. I passed a long think kitchen knocking on doors, and opening closets. The bedroom revealed an unmade bunk-bed…and there he was…and innocent little kitten glowing his eyes at me. I still had some home to cover, before I could relax, and so I continued down the slim hallway, and around the corner. Next bedroom …empty. Another….empty. Suddenly I feel something behind me….quickly I turn around….
…there it was, the sweet little thing watching my every move. As I went to pick him up, I noticed that his mom woke up and approached as well. I wasn’t aware of two cats, nor if the door to that room was shut, but I recalled it being open. I told Bob and Jill to come in and warned them that there is a very cute kitten in the house. While they explored the home, I continued to look with them, and yes, so did the cats. So much so, that when we approached the basement, I tried to keep them away to make sure they didn’t go down there. Basement was a converted garage partially drywalled to look like a family room – but as the steam left our breath, it was not in a shape for my buyers. We came up, and as I shot the door the mama cat sneaks in behind me and runs downstairs. “Damn” – I need to get this cat. While the kitten was being adored by Bob and Jill, I needed to trick the big cat into returning. Having that I owned 2 cats some years ago, I knew that if I shut the door, and make the cat curious, she’ll most likely come up on the own…but she didn’t. I decided to call the real estate office and let them know that I may have a problem, and was the cat okay in the basement. The lady on the phone laughed, but told me that she would alert the home owners to return or call right away…
…I suggested that my clients wait outside, and I will handle the situation as quickly as possible. I decided to trick the cat again, and after several time trying, and the little kitten trying to follow her mama, my plan worked, and I had both cats in the bunk beds, cozy and warm. I walk out, lock up, and while smiling at Bob and Jill at my adventure, I walk out to see them contently starring at something by the house.
“Hey Mario, is that a dead dog a the bottom of the driveway?”
You have got to be kidding me…I walk over next to Bob, and there it was, a large dog like creature laying down, facing away from us, and motionless. Bob suggests that we go down there, but I hesitate as the way back to the car is uphill and distant. He accepts my advise and decides to throw a stick near the body to see if it would get startled.
Nothing….
I call the real estate office again…”um, hi, um….I just called you about the kitten….well, its fine, but ….there is a dead dog in the driveway……..” She says “OMG!”
Ya, I was over my hang over. What can you do, not willing to take the risk of going down there, it was time to go.
As we’re driving to the next home I wanted to make sure that my clients were okay, and the one thing we all agreed on was…it was turning out to be a very weird day. From abandoned and creepy homes, to wet drippy unfinished distorted, disgusting and down right gross homes, the journey continued.
We stopped for a couple of burgers at a local hot dog place….we were overdue for lunch and had several homes to still cover. The next property was one they really were looking forward to seeing as it was near the downtown area, appeared to be updated, and even semi-attractive. As we approached the neighborhood, driving along lakes and channels the speed limit was 50 and the sun was trying to burst through some clouds. As I approached, I came up to a pretty popular street where folks were pulling in and out of, but due to the angle of the street I was on, the cross traffic was busy and fast. As I come to a stop to let a car through, the woman looking away decides to “gun it”…right at me. The look on her face when she realized that she never looked in front of her, and that she was about to hit us, was frighting. Her shoulders peeled back, and the facial expression screamed fear. I moved out of the way as quick as I could, and thankfully she stopped just in time to elude my car. It was close.
We pulled in on the street, passing some very nice homes, and we enter to the back of the subdivision where the homes were smaller but in decent shape. “Finally, ” Jill said, “something that looks pretty decent”. I walk up to the front door…”knock, knock”.
Nothing.
A dog begins to bark and wildly scratching at the door. Suddenly, I hear a second dog barking and scratching equally wild. I’m starting to reconsider the feel good emotions about the home, and I give a look of disappointment. From the corner of my eye I suddenly catch a glimpse of a window blind being pulled down, and flinging back up like a rubber-band. I walk back to the front door, and knock. knock. knock.
Nothing.
It would appear that the appointment we had set was, well, ignored. I called the office that listed the home, and was told that someone will call the owner, but one ever called back.
Back in the car, reflecting on the crazy events that don’t seem to subside. Couple more homes to go, and an arsenal of crazy stories, this was a day to remember.
Home before last was a property I spoke with the owner on. Took me about 3 days to get a hold of this guy, and when I finally got him…he was …..”pleasant” to talk to. I said 3pm, she said 6:30…I’m like “Sir, my client and I are driving on a schedule and we came from far away….I can show the home, but is there a time closer to the earlier part of the day?”….I don’t think so, he says, but will find out. There were two homes on this land, both rented out. The pictures looked promising – one small and one large home with parking for 4-5 cars. He advised me not to even attempt to show the small home as there lived a woman who was getting evicted, butter about the situation, and was not going to let us in. The bigger home we could show.
Driving through another unincorporated area, we find the home, and as I pull in I see the two homes. As I park a black cat approaches my car and attempts to com inside. While I’m laughing, I am also checking out the surrounding as these properties are heavily distressed and not very attractive. I swiftly get out of the car, but suggest that maybe Jill hangs back on this one, and allows for me and Bob to just quickly check it out. As I approach the larger home, I notice the curtains being pulled back. I knock on the door. A young latino man opens the door with a look in his eyes like he wants to kill. His muscular jaw was clentched and fierce. He looked at me dead in the eyes….”I’m here to show the house…” I say with hesitation, thinking to myself, that I don’t like what may be on the inside. Am I about to walk into a gnag meeting? Are there dogs? Is this guy going to kill us?
He rolls his eye back and slamms the door in my face.
I walk away, and tell Bob to get back in the car. Bob recognized my uneasy return, and followed me back in the car. “I feel like I just saw the devil”. With an angry stressed out feeling inside prepared to drive away quickly in case someone came out of the house to follow….this was not the place to be.
As we drove away I reflected on how lucky I am for my wife and kids, and the friendly dog I have, and even the peeling wall paper in my front door hallway. I am lucky.
Bob and Jill laughed at the journey we shared that day. Although my days are often filled with much adventure, this day, I was grateful to walk away safely.
HGTV…? I don’t think so.